Embarking down on this path has been natural to me, as if I am called into it, or born into it. Finding my way home, and becoming aware of my true self.
Studying the Buddha's teachings has lead me to truly examined myself, on a very deep personal level. In the cultivation of this knowledge I have proceeded in traveling down the path in the direction of an awakening.
This is not at all to say that I have been "fully awakened" but rather my eyes are in the process of being opened. Realizations have arisen in me, and I am aware that, that for along time, I was a in incomplete human being - shallow and distracted by illusions.
I never thought that I would ever become a "religious" person, even though I grew up attending regular church services. I was never able to think theistically. As a young person, I tried for years to get behind the all knowing, and punishing being that commanded obedience, for fear of the eternal damnation that was reserved for the nonbelievers.
Even at a young age, I remember questioning the things that we were told in church, and feeling as if there was something wrong with me due to my inability to blindly follow what could not be proven to my young mind.
Eventually, in my teenage years, finding the act tiresome, I gave up the façade, much to my mothers dismay. My lack of religion and openness about the, unjustified, bitterness that I had for the Christian church put an immense strain on my relationship with my mother, who expected me to continue attending regular services.
I was stupid, and prideful. A teenage rebelling, but my dislike for church was not just something I used to irritate my mother. Deep down, everything about church made me uncomfortable.
Mind you that this is, in no way, a reflection of my current feelings about the church or Christianity. Through my own journey, into Buddhist teachings, I have learned a great respect, and even a fondness for true followers of Christ.
These teachings are still not for me, but they do not have to be. There are many paths to salvation, and I do not believe that any one path is better than any other. We are blessed with a planet filled with many cultures and religions, and each person's own religion is their own salvation.
Any religion that teaches the values of honesty, love, compassion, and kindness is a benefit to the world and its people.The Dali Lama, when asked about his own religion, does not claim to be a Buddhist. Instead he has been quoted as saying, "my religion is kindness."
This journey is endless, as I am always growing, and learning. Following the path, picking up lessons, like stones, along the way.
Once filed with a deep darkness, and hatred, I am now transcending my old ways. That void - an enormous, dark, hole - is now gone, and I have filled it with the one and only thing that could ever be big enough to fill such a space - love.
