Fragile

It hardly seemed real. Seeing the full name of someone who had once been very close to me displayed next to the word obituary on the computer screen. Certainly I must be confused.

It's common for people to see faces in inanimate objects where none actually exists. We are automatically programmed to seek out familiarities in situations that or foreign to us. Surely, I must be mistaken.

Thinking back. Did I ever really hear that middle name? The age? It could be a coincidence. Jumping to conclusions. My mind playing tricks on me.

Fingers, frantically strumming, desperately seeking to disprove answers that my hart already had. In dental, trying to lift the rock that had become lodged, heavy in my stomach.

Why? There it was. The confirmation on my screen. Undeniable proof of the horrid injustice.

He was not even thirty years old, and always a wonderful, caring person. A bright light in the world. Why?

Such things hardly seem fair, but then again they aren't. This world is not a fair place, and life is fragile. Death lurks around every corner as we often take this life for granted.

I don't want to look at this truth in front of me, but it is almost impossible to look away. This is real, and pretending otherwise is not helpful.

I still remember the day, the beginning of the end was it 6. . . 7 years ago? A scary situation, though at the time nobody had yet realize the chain of events that had suddenly been put into motion. 

Thanksgiving day at my grandparents house. My phone rings. I cannot recall the conversation, but I remember being called to the hospital.

There had been a car accident. Someone had speed carelessly through a red light. The domino effect, that would take a while to be come apparent. 

Sitting in the ER waiting room. I still remember his calm and cool posture. Slouched back in the plastic waiting room seat, green Converse shoe popping out of the white and blue hospital gown over a crossed knee.  "Look, I got blood on my favorite shoes!" He said it with a huge smile. 

He always had a way of lighting the mood with his infectious smile.  Why should this moment be any different. 

Months down the road, I remember him describing strange events where he would loose time. These instances would often occur during his morning showers. He would "wake up" or "snap out of it" and the water in the shower would have run cold. 

We decided these must have been big gaps, since our thirty gallon water heater was sufficient for a fairly long shower.

Seizures. Eventually these events were named. The accident had caused much more damage than was originally discovered. Lasting damage, permanent, and eventually the end.

Last one to know, the news now over a year old, but still a shock to me. Processing the information and letting it sink in.

This bright light, prematurely extinguished. Drawing the lesson that life is fragile. Further proof that we can never guarantee tomorrow. A valuable lesson, from an unfortunate tragedy.