My generation grew up with Yahoo chat rooms and AIM instant messenger. We accessed the internet at as snails pace, but information was at our fingertips. Internet search engines were the next big thing, and I was in love.
Almost twenty years later, my love affair with the internet is still alive and well. Although, I like to think that our relationship has matured into something deeply meaningful, exploring Google, and Wikipedia, seeking out answers to life's eternal questions.
Last week I stumbled across the Vajrayana Institute's 7 Day Mindfulness Challenge. Having just finished a book filled with mindfulness exercises, I was ready to take on whatever 7 tasks the Vajirayana Institute had to offer. One task a day - how hard could it possibly be?
The first email came in on Sunday afternoon. "Every time you pass through a door direct your attention to the present for a moment. Leaving your home, getting in and out of your car, into a meeting, out for lunch, visiting a friend, and returning home."
An easy one.
Ego was growing. This assignment was not foreign to me, in fact it was nearly identical to a practice from the book that I had just finished reading. I enthusiastically flagged the email reminder for my "doors practice" to start at eight thirty on Monday morning.
Six in the morning, too darn early. I've never been a morning person. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed, my brain doesn't turn on until at least eight or nine. I was halfway into my lengthy commute before realizing, I'd forgotten about "the doors".
Shoot. . . Doors... Remember doors. It'll be easier to remember the doors after I've had some coffee.
Working through Monday morning emails, the reminder for the "doors practice" pop up. Realizing I had missed a few more doors since my arrival at the office, I plucked the purple pen from the can behind my laptop and quickly sketched an image resembling the front door of our house onto a hot pink Post-it.
The book about mindfulness had suggested placing sticky notes in obvious places as reminders. I stuck the Post-it onto the handle of the phone.
As the morning progressed I continued to forget to notice doors. I grabbed a metallic blue marker and wrote the word doors on the underside of my ring finger. It would have been more helpful to write the note on the back of my hand, in a more obvious place, but then I would be stuck explaining my practice all day.
The remainder of my day continued in much the same fashion, only remembering about a third of the doors I entered. This practice, though simple, ended up being much harder than I had expected. I had been over confident.
Beginner's mind is a term commonly used in Zen. It refers to an attitude free of preconceptions, even when studying something that is at an advanced level. Like all things, it would have been beneficial for me to approach the "doors practice" in this fashion.
Humbled, but not discouraged, I am ready for tomorrow's challenge. Hopefully I will become better at noticing doors, entering each one, leaving behind the past and becoming aware of each new moment as it arises.
Determined as I am, only time will tell.
