In the Moment

Staying in the moment. My mind is like a wild and unruly animal, bucking, twisting, and pulling at the reigns. Wandering between past and future, like a horse pulling first to the right, and then heading straight - only for a moment - before veering back off to the left. I steer my thoughts, struggling against the beast, begging it to bend to my will. 

I find myself to be counting each long, slow, breath, demanding my focus to shift to this present action, and forbidding everything but the most basic of thoughts from entering my mind. 

For a moment all is calm. My thoughts propel forward, like a laser beam, sharp, and focused. The animal is at rest. Profound clarity penetrates my being, vibrating, echoing, within me. I cling to this place, where there is only now. Dwelling in an existence that has no past, and cares not for the future.

I am driving, speeding, down the road, aware of each and every action. There, in the empty space, something resonates. There is nothing leading up to this moment, and there is nothing to follow. Only now. . . 

A delightful, new world. This is a place I could live, but I am unprepared, and ill equipped to stay. I make the most of my visit, enjoying the fresh view.

Hours pass. Eventually, I realize that I have returned. Yes,back in the world of past imprints and future concerns. The other place has, somehow, become a fond memory. Despite my efforts, I am unsure of the moment that my return actually occurred.

Here, again, is the beast. A kitten, curled up in the corner, wiser. Knowing of this place.  Tail twitching in all directions, but slowly, and with intention. Lying in wait and ready for the hidden passageways of the mind to once again open up.

The doorway. The Escape. 

Now

Now is is on my mind

Now is the place that I am exploring 

Now is this moment of clarity 

Now I am clinging to this state of present because

Now is where am trying to stay - steering my mind away from the future

The future that is elusive

The future that cannot be forecast 

The future that is constantly changing because of actions that we are carrying out now

The future is not where we are dwelling, and visiting it is a fantasy

The future is not relevant or certain  until now merges into it

Now is precious, each moment we have is a gift

Now is here - it is concrete, true

Now is clarity - directing the mind to stay in this place brings peace

Now is the only moment that is real, everything else is gone or an illusion

Now can have no effect on the past because the past is a place that cannot be touched

The past is gone forever - never to return

The past is a tool used for learning, viewed like a story in a movie

The past is not a place to dwell because it cannot be changed

The past, now gone, is no longer relevant to our current state

The past has passed, evolving into the now

Now is the only moment within our control - it is a time to act with mindfulness

Now is the home that we live in, the place we are meant to stay

Now is the only moment that is truly guaranteed - we cannot count on plans for tomorrow

Now the inspiration is flowing smoothly, clearly - serenity surrounds me and I am free

Now staying, holding onto the present

Ego Is a Child

I sit 

quietly listening 

Gazing out the window

The sound of my breath caresses 

Thoughts  rolling in like dark storm clouds

Contemplating harsh words, and insults - raindrops in my mind

A narrow mind carelessly propelling lightening bolts from unskilled lips

The ego is awake and is sulking in the corner, like a child, asking to be understood

Attempting to shake this illusion, I bid my mind to move in a new direction - scolding the child

I struggle to view myself through foreign eyes, seeking to understand my aggressor

Fingering through lessons in my mind like pages of an encyclopedia

Buddhist elders, words of wisdom, reminding me of unity

the child is gone, or perhaps she might only be hiding

regardless of her location, I feel an easement

Free in clear mind, there is no self

only for a fleeting moment

I am only now

the past

is

gone.