My Friend Change (A Practice of Now)

As I paint my toenails with a calm pink polish, I am amused. From ninja turtles to lip gloss, it's hard to believe what has become of this "awkward tom boy". More evidence that everything changes.

Everything changes. I try to ponder that fact often so I am not caught clinging when my good friend Change stops by to say hello. Sometimes being faced with change can feel difficult, especially when we fear what changes might be waiting for us around the corner. 

There is a practice that I do. It might seem silly and maybe it is, but I feel like any practice that works is worth maintaining.

Becoming a Buddhist has lead me to make many changes in my life, including a reintroduction to a faithful friend, "Change". Change has always been there for me, although I didn't notice him as much before. Change will never leave me, even if I yell or beg him to go.

My Friend Change

I great Change like an old friend, saying "Oh, hello! It's you again," (in my head) whenever I notice change happening. 

When Change brings me something that I do not want, I remind myself that everything is temporary. The same is true when Change delivers something that I am pleased with. Constantly, I remind myself of the impermanent nature of everything I encounter in my day to day life.

I am teaching myself to enjoy every moment fully, so that there are no good or bad moments left to cling to or avoid.

Crunch - Another Opportunity to Grow

I cringed, feeling the crunch under my shoe. Praying for a leaf or a potato chip, I slowly lifted my foot. As I suspected, the remnants beneath my foot were not those of any plant or vegetable.

The snail was now almost completely unrecognizable.

It's hard to articulate the emotions sifting within me as I leaned forward, taking in the shattered gastropod.  Squinting, I tried to reconstruct fragments left behind by the snail's spiral shell with my mind. What had been a living creature seconds ago, was now disassembled, chunks floating in a greyish goo. 

Unfortunately the snail had become a teacher. - "Dharma gates are numberless, I vow to enter them."

Opening the Door

One second of carelessness had brought a tragic end to this small creature. We have the ability to use our consciousness to become custodians of the earth, but when we act carelessly we often do more harm than good for ourselves and others.

I can't help but wonder if all "accidents" are preventable, caused only by our lack of mindfulness. Deep down I feel this is likely true, but my suspicions will require a more thorough investigation.

"Links in the chain," each action and thought we release begins a new chain of events. We create limbs on the tree of Karma. Our activities reach much further than we often realize. This is why the Buddha put an emphasis on perfect speech and perfect actions.

Rushing out the door this morning, overly excited about the prospect of breakfast, I was careless and killed an animal.

Giving attention to situations around me, it's hard to not notice certain parallels between the way we treat the earth and the way I treated the snail.

Careful well thought out words and actions, coming from a place of pure intention, are priceless creations. Unless more people start to act in a more focused way, I fear our world may be in considerable danger.

 Door opened, I can now thank the departed snail for its guidance.

Interruptions (Meditating with Cats)

I have a cat who thinks sitting on a meditation cushion is how I offer her my attention. At first I try to ignore her wailing cries because, "meditation is supposed to be about letting things be as they are without trying to change them". Eventually she wins, and my compassion gets the best of me. . . I am petting the cat..

Rini is delighted, and purrs loudly. She presses her boney shoulders into my hands, digging my fingers more deeply into her fur. I find myself wondering if this is truly a distraction or if it might be possible to be present with an animal, like Rini the Cat. Ignoring her, as she begs for something I normally give freely, seems cruel.

Her desires are so simple. She talks, begs, all the time but normally only wants one of two things - attention or food. Rini seems to be very happy when she has a full bowl and my full attention. She is a simple creature but not dumb. When you look into her eyes you can tell she is thinking and problem solving.

Who am I to deny her something she wants so badly? Rini cannot possibly understand why I would sit motionless, apparently doing nothing, and deny her my available hands.

After giving Rini five minutes of my sitting time, I decide to bring my hands back to their resting place in my lap. At first she nuzzles me all over, trying to will my hands back into motion, but this time Rini does not cry.

I settle my eyes on the wall in front of me and readjust my posture. Rini settles too. She sits beside me on the rug, purring loudly, with her head snuggled into my side. We finish my practice. Everybody wins.

Rini is a ten year old Manx cat. She has always been very affectionate and talkative. She has been with me since she was a kitten and is definitely a member of our family.

Words On A Page

Empty white space in front of me

A glowing screen and a black keyboard,

Words spilling out onto virtual paper

Bringing the truth before me over and over again

The sound of fingers carefully tapping

Drumming out my deepest thoughts 

 Just words on a page

Spilling out of me

Words on a page coming to life

Words on a page bringing me into the present

Where everything is just as it is

I have gratitude for this moment 

For ones like these are special

When I can find the time to indulge online

Combining

 Words on a page

Photos by David Rivera.