Searching For Safety (Where You Can Find it)

We're always searching for a feeling of safety.

Locks on our doors and alarms on our cars.

Our fluttering hearts bare to the world.

We tell ourselves things will be alright.

The uncertainty can be suffocating.

Constant searching, a determined heart.

Either way, I can't stop looking.

But then again am I reaching too far?

The mental stones must all be turned.

Careful not to mistake the finger for the moon. 

Peace cannot be brought in from the outside.

Fortunately it can grow and bloom.

Walking down a winding road, less traveled.

I do not miss what is whittled away.

Pushing forward, dedicated. 

If I rush ahead, I will miss the ride. 

Look, it's all perfect in every minute.  

So I better try to enjoy the show. 

Slowing down long enough to see the moment.
Only now can be touched.

Photo by: David Rivera - Revolution Photos

Energy or Anxiety? (5 things you can start doing NOW)

Someone once told me that they loved my energy level. Go, go, go. Busy, busy, busy. Always on the move, from one thing to the next. A mover and a shaker, productive, and active.

I don't like the term busy body, but for lack of a better description, that is what I was. Boundless energy, and a strong desire to keep moving. If I wasn't "doing something" I became fidgety and anxious.

Most of my life these actions continued without investigation. I was constantly hyping myself up, feeding on the energy, pushing my limits in every possible way, both mentally and physically.

I didn't see this as a problem. Why would I? I had become a champion of G.S.D. (getting shit done).

There have always been times in my life where anxiety would creep in on me. Little attacks bringing a general feeling on unease, and shortness of breath. Studying the self, examining my every thought, dinging tirelessly at the root of every emotion has lead me to many discoveries about my habitual anxiety.

All that energy, that busyness, it's almost as if I was addicted to the surges of adrenaline. I was constantly hyping myself up, mistaking anxiety for energy. For so long I was blind to the hurt I was causing myself, literally worrying myself ill. Once I realized I had a problem, my next move was clear.

A change was needed. This had to stop.

Photo by the amazing David Rivera - Revolution Photos

When you have less anxiety you will have more energy. Here are five things you should be doing if you are trying to cut down on your anxiety levels.



1. Drop the "what if's".

Examine where your anxiety is coming from. Do not allow yourself to worry over events that aren't even happening yet. If you are worrying over the future your mind is not in the present and you are missing out on this moment. Greet each situation as it approaches. It is not healthy to get wrapped up in the future.

2. Do your best & forget the rest.

Give everything you do 100%. It doesn't matter if you are washing your hair or working on a huge project at work, give everything your all. If you "fail" remember that your best is all you have to give. If you truly tried your hardest there is nothing to be ashamed of.

 Being hard on yourself or getting stuck on what you could have done is not helpful. Nothing will change the past. Every "failure" is a learning opportunity. Let it go and be grateful for the learning opportunity.

3. Do one thing at a time.

"Hello, my name is PadmaKisa, and I am a recovering multitask-er." Another deadly addiction. If you are multitasking you are probably not acting with mindfulness. Give each task your full attention, you will have better results and less errors. Also being mindful is very relaxing, being able to stay calm with each task you take on leaves little room for anxiety to sneak in.

4. Don't try to control everything. 

There will always be situations that are out of your control. It is much easier to be happy when you decide to go with the flow and stop trying to control what is happening around you. Be open each new situation as it arises.

Also don't pretend you can control what other people do, think, and feel. You only have control over one person - you.

5. Get to know your feelings.

Self-study is very useful. Examine the source of your anxiety and have compassion for yourself. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. Start a journal or talk to someone you trust about your feelings.

Anxiety is an ancient survival tool, that doesn't serve us well in the modern world. Everyone has the potential to feel anxiety as well as the potential to rise above it.

To Sit or Not to Sit (When You are too Busy to Meditate)

I don't meditate much, not in the traditional sense. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, only admitting that this is true. There are occasions where I am able to set aside 10-20 minutes of my day just to "sit" (often meditation is referred to as sitting). When I do find the time, these moments are thoroughly enjoyable.

I'm always on the go. I love my full time job and commute through several towns to and from work most days of the week. I have many hobbies and my husband (who does not meditate) is almost always by my side when I am not working.

Often I hear people say things along the lines of “you can free up 10-30 minutes a day to sit”. I guess it is true, and it all comes down to a choice of what it is you want to have time for.

Although I do not meditate as often as many people would say is necessary, I do have a very strong and constant mindfulness practice. More and more I am finding that I am growing the ability to be present almost anywhere while participating in a variety of activities.

What do I do to stay mindful in a busy life? 

Driving Meditation - I often spend several hours a day driving in the car. While driving I turn off the radio and pay constant attention to what is happening in each moment. I am often saying things in my head along the lines of, "a white car is passing me" or "I am switching into the far left lane". The most important thing here is to recognize when your mind has wandered back to something that happened earlier in your day or what you are planning to do later. When you realize you are not in the present, return to the question – “What's happening now?”

Shower Meditation (also works in the bath) - Pay attention to the sensations of the water on your skin, and the smells arising from your bath products. Listen to the running water, paying close attention to every sense. Feel your fingers scrubbing your scalp, and pay close attention to the gliding motions you make as you wash your body. This is not a time for thinking about what you have to do next, it is another time to enjoy the moment.

Cleaning Meditation - Chores and house work can easily become a great mindfulness practice. Open some windows, and listen to the sounds of nature. It is often helpful to clean in silence but not entirely necessary. Do each chore one at a time, allowing it your full attention.
 Almost any activity can be used as a mindfulness practice. Remember to constantly steer yourself back to the present moment.




In addition to "What's happening now?" another helpful activity is something I call body scans. Scan your body starting with your feet, think about what sensations are in each body part and if they are tense relax them. These are just a few exercises that I use daily to stay mindful.

Conversations

Deep conversations.

Intimate conversations.

In the moment conversations.

Conversations free flowing and undirected,

Organically arising word by word.

Honest conversations.

Real conversations.

Every special conversation.

A conversation unprepared.

A garden of words blooming in spring.

Our conversations.

Friendly conversations.

We are making conversations.

Conversations that are teaching,

Each one offering something new.