The Worst Flu Ever, A Fairly Positive Experiance

I am typically a fairly healthy human being. I live on a vegetarian diet, of mostly organic fruits and vegetables. The best part is I rarely get sick, with the exception of cold and flu season.

Once a year, as the temperatures drop and the holidays approach, I always seem to catch something cold or flu like. Still it's not too bad because, although this year was a bit different, in past years I am typically only ill for about 48 hours and then good to go minus a few sniffles.

Here I am, day 3 of the worst flu ever, and as of now feeling fairly good and hoping to head back into the office in the morning. I am a strong advocate of listening to your body, and fortunately for me this year blessed me with a new job that allows me to work from home if needed.

So I was able to work with my laptop bundled up in bed with a pile of tissues and and endless supply of constantly refilling water (thanks to my loving man) while I wimped it out. What a blessing!

Unfortunately many employers do not offer healthy options for sick employees to take it easy and avoid infecting the workforce by working elsewhere. Sometimes this is not possible due to the type of work being preformed.

I love my job. We have a great boss and team AND we also are allowed to use our PTO days as sick days if we do suddenly become ill. There are a lot of jobs today that do not offer PTO to their employees, OR do not allow vacation days to be used as sick days, such was the case at my last job.

Money is tight everywhere, and most of the employees that do not get these benefits are average middle class employees - employees with families to support and bills to pay. For some of these people missing even a day of work could could be the difference between food on the table this week, or getting the power disconnected.

Imagine what having the flu for 3-7 days could do to a family that is barley getting buy. No work - No Pay. No Work - No Food. With these circumstances it should not come as a surprise to you that 60-90% of workers come into work while ill. It is a sad fact.

Counting my blessings, this year I was able to stick out this 3 day beast of a flu in bed, thanks to my new job and understanding boss.

It hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday night at around 9pm, I was on my way home from work and several errands. Out of nowhere I was assaulted by a fever, aches from head to toe, and the worst headache ever.

On Tuesday, I was lost in bed. I slept all day, merciless to the symptoms, I surrendered to my body and let the immune system war take off. Sweet surrender, I realized that the flu "just was" there was nothing I could really do about it but let my body fight and drink lots of water.

Side note, I personally do not believe in taking any medication that masks symptoms created by your body's immune system such as a fever. I remember learning at a very young age that your body creates a fever to kill off bad things like viruses and germs that make you sick.

It has been my experience that every time in the past I have stepped in and interrupted that process, often because I was trying to go to work while sick rather then let my body recover, I stay sick longer. For me, these medications only seem make being sick tolerable, and they never seem to help me to get well.

Wednesday I worked, bundled up with fever in a pile of blankets, body aching head to toe. I must add that my boss offered and assumed that I was taking PTO but I insisted otherwise as my winter holiday vacation starts very soon. I had high hopes that I would return to the office on Thursday morning.

Thursday morning I wake up not felling 100% but still much better than before. "Maybe I will be able to go to work after all" I thought. I got out of bed and picking the empty water cup from my night stand headed towards the kitchen.

I hadn't made it but a few steps outside of my bedroom door when I realized that something was horribly wrong. I was weak, cold, sweaty, nauseous, and if I did not sit down soon I was going to black out. Luckily I threw myself at the sofa just in time.

It was amazing at how quickly things had gone downhill, and gotten a little scarey. In a few seconds it was as if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water onto me. I was sweating from head to toe, and every time I stood up the cycle started over again.

Needless to say I had my loving man bring all the things I needed back to the bed for me, including my work laptop, and I got back to work. Honestly, as long as I was not moving around I felt fairly alright.

Right now, Thursday night, I feel fairly alright, and do not seem to have a fever. (I say seem because the thermometer broke.) Other than a stuffy nose, drainage and a small cough, I feel pretty good, and THANK GOODNESS!

This monster flu was a great reminder to me that, in the fast paced world we live in it is important that we take the time to stop, slow down, and listen to what our body is trying to tell us. This year the flu actually demanded I listen to my body.

I feel good right now, and hopefully will be able to head back into the office tomorrow. Either way, you better believe that I will be listening when I wake up in the morning so that I can be sure to hear what my body is telling me.

Listening to My Body

My body is a friend.
It is the place that all the pieces of me reside.
Not me, but a place, a home that I must care for and maintain.
What an amazing gift a human body is.
If I take the time to listen, it speaks to me.
My body doesn't ask for much - just healthy, organic foods, exercise and rest.
It asks for so very little, and in return offers me a place to live a long and comfortable life.
How lovely!

Sometimes the mind and body do not seem to see eye to eye.
Work and worldly issues hinder my ability to hear the body's requests.
What a shame.

The downward spiral, slipping and falling.
Putting off exercise and rest.
"There is too much else to do."
Priorities waiver, but the nagging remains in the back of my head. . .

"Lets go for a run!"
"Stop staying up all night!"
"Really, ANOTHER cup of coffee?!"
"Yoga is good foe body and mind."
"Stop and relax - please?"

Eventually I give in.
Back on the right track, but I can't help but wonder how I got lost in the first place. 

Run Run

Be still my racing heart...
Run...
Run...
The mind cannot stop...
Won't stop,
although I beg it.
Where does this urge come from?
The urge to run?
Move...
Move...
The desire to create...
But what am I building?
Relax?
Relax?
I cannot be still...
Inside momentum is building,
The stillness is maddening.
Rush...
Rush...
Why can I not slow down?
Always in over drive...
The break pads are worn.
Relax....
Relax!
How long will I be able to maintain this pace?
The machine is in need or repair.
What would happen if I were to suddenly stop?
Stop...
Would the wheels fall off?
or would the train keep rolling along?

Local Buddhist Center

Photo by Revolution Photos

For a long time I have been suppressing a longing to seek out other Dharma followers. The reason is hard to explain, but I am sure it is tied to my negative history with organized "Christian" religion. I have never been a fan of being told how to act or think.

Releasing memories, living in the now and forgetting the past. That is what this journey is about. What am I really afraid of? I know I am serious about this journey. Right?

Do I think I am going to be sucked into a deep dark cult? No - not really. I honestly do not believe that sort of thing happens to strong minded people. I know that I can walk out if I find anything that is intolerable.

Is it a fear of being judged? I do not typically think of myself as the type of person who worries over what others think of me, but this question keeps arising.

Perhaps I am afraid that I will like what the experience, or maybe I will find displeasure within the Zendo. What if... what if.... all the "what ifs" are irrelevant. 

Here I stand, one foot inside and the other dragging behind, ready to run. "What are you running from?" I ask myself, but there is no answer.

In this moment I am undecided, and tomorrow is not to be worried over. So, tomorrow the question will be, which path will I take? 

Failure

I failed miserably today.

Got wrapped up in worries over how to fix a problem that was out of my hands.

Today I lost my cool. Became overwhelmed and frustrated.

Setbacks. Anxious over silly worldly matters. Desire for a solution that eluded me.

Lost. How do I stay in this moment, and hold a job in the world?

Is it really possible to live today with no concern over tomorrow? Is it possible that I could do such a thing?

Flawed.  I am deeply flawed, worrying. . . Lost.

Material items, worldly joys, and sorrows are all illusions. Why cling to them?

I know this only causes pain. Why can't I just let it all go?

It is all temporary. Why grasp it?

Logic is here now, but where was it earlier?

I failed today, but maybe realizing that I failed is actually a small victory. 

The Who and Now

I have been attempting to focus my mind in this present moment. 

 

Photo by David Rivera

On occasion I manage to hone in on this experience, where I have no past and no worries over the future.  These moments are so precious, but each time I realize that I have attained this state it instantly vanishes. 

I am unable to contain the minor frustration as this goal floats just outside my grasp. Each time I reach for it, grasp at it, desire it, it vanishes. What is "it"?

I am nobody, and that is when I am the happiest. 

We all want to be somebody - proud of where we came from, and the events that have shaped us into who we have become.

Everyone has a story, heritage to be proud of, and battles won. Identities we cling to.

We are all so desperate to hold onto these objects that we identify with. They make us who we are, but these moments are gone. Irrelevant.  Delusions.  Dreams. 

We cannot touch these past encounters. What benefit does recalling them actually serve? 

Sometimes I feel as if people who wake up from head injuries with no recollection of who they were previously are truly blessed.  

Such a huge task lies in front of me. Not only must I forget my past, but I also need to disregard the moments that might occur in my future. 

What is this? Is it the notion of "no self" or is it "living in the present"? Maybe these two things are actually one. 

Enlightenment is one thing, built of many things that actually have no separation.

Indescribable - words never do justice to the things I see and feel. Language has so many limitations. 

Words are tools, not toys,  but so often we use them carelessly. 

I talk too much. Words are nothing. A human invention. They can be addictive, and I am hooked. 

Sometimes it feels as if I am a lost cause, only realizing that my words lack value in reflection.   

Progress is the realization of a problem where once no knowledge was present. There was a time when I did not grasp my senselessness. Pride and ego often blind us to our imperfections. 

Gradually things are getting better, but perfection still seems so far away. What knots must I unravel to alleviate this affliction? What is the root cause?

More reflection is needed.

Anatta - The River

Anatta - refers to the notion of "not-self" or the illusion of "self" sometimes refereed to as ego. 


I am a river, not the person I was yesterday. Always changing. The water is different, quickly flowing downstream. Strong currents moving pebbles and debris downstream as well. The banks of me are changing, though at a slower pace. There is not one part of me that is fixed. Even the large rock and boulders, that the rest is stacked upon, will weather down and one day drift away.

Nothing within is fixed, so there cannot be a "me" or "I".




Photo By David Rivera - Revolution Photos TX

Fragile

It hardly seemed real. Seeing the full name of someone who had once been very close to me displayed next to the word obituary on the computer screen. Certainly I must be confused.

It's common for people to see faces in inanimate objects where none actually exists. We are automatically programmed to seek out familiarities in situations that or foreign to us. Surely, I must be mistaken.

Thinking back. Did I ever really hear that middle name? The age? It could be a coincidence. Jumping to conclusions. My mind playing tricks on me.

Fingers, frantically strumming, desperately seeking to disprove answers that my hart already had. In dental, trying to lift the rock that had become lodged, heavy in my stomach.

Why? There it was. The confirmation on my screen. Undeniable proof of the horrid injustice.

He was not even thirty years old, and always a wonderful, caring person. A bright light in the world. Why?

Such things hardly seem fair, but then again they aren't. This world is not a fair place, and life is fragile. Death lurks around every corner as we often take this life for granted.

I don't want to look at this truth in front of me, but it is almost impossible to look away. This is real, and pretending otherwise is not helpful.

I still remember the day, the beginning of the end was it 6. . . 7 years ago? A scary situation, though at the time nobody had yet realize the chain of events that had suddenly been put into motion. 

Thanksgiving day at my grandparents house. My phone rings. I cannot recall the conversation, but I remember being called to the hospital.

There had been a car accident. Someone had speed carelessly through a red light. The domino effect, that would take a while to be come apparent. 

Sitting in the ER waiting room. I still remember his calm and cool posture. Slouched back in the plastic waiting room seat, green Converse shoe popping out of the white and blue hospital gown over a crossed knee.  "Look, I got blood on my favorite shoes!" He said it with a huge smile. 

He always had a way of lighting the mood with his infectious smile.  Why should this moment be any different. 

Months down the road, I remember him describing strange events where he would loose time. These instances would often occur during his morning showers. He would "wake up" or "snap out of it" and the water in the shower would have run cold. 

We decided these must have been big gaps, since our thirty gallon water heater was sufficient for a fairly long shower.

Seizures. Eventually these events were named. The accident had caused much more damage than was originally discovered. Lasting damage, permanent, and eventually the end.

Last one to know, the news now over a year old, but still a shock to me. Processing the information and letting it sink in.

This bright light, prematurely extinguished. Drawing the lesson that life is fragile. Further proof that we can never guarantee tomorrow. A valuable lesson, from an unfortunate tragedy.

My Sangha - The Tempermental Buddha

As I journey down this road less traveled, seeking the spiritual life, I venture into a place unknown by my friends and loved ones. Living in a Judeo-Christian nation, teachers and followers of the Buddha Dharma are a rarity. Living in a small Texas town, there are no Guru's or temples to visit for instruction.

I do not personally know any true "Buddhist practitioners" nor, to my knowledge, have I met any. Some might say that a solitary study of the Buddha Dharma is a hindrance, or possibly even a problem, but I do not see it that way.

The historical Buddha, Shakyamuni, is said to have reached enlightenment after a six year journey on his own, at the age of 35. It is my understanding that on the path to enlightenment Siddhartha learned and studied with religious seekers from a variety of religions, none of them "Buddhist."

Eventually, upon reaching enlightenment, Shakyamuni Buddha was able to share and explain the Dharma that he had learned to his companions and family, rapidly gathering a multitude of disciples.

Despite these difficulties, I am extremely grateful for the tools that I do have, though I still wish I had more free time. Living in modern American society, and having a full time job, leaves very little time for religious study and meditation.

I began my journey on the internet, reading on Buddhist websites and listening to free downloads of Dharma lectures. As my thirst for knowledge grew, so did my sources. A radio commercial for the local used book store, advertising twenty percent off already low prices, directed me to a new source of affordable study materials.

I now take great joy in, and look forward to, spending my spare moments deep in the study of these materials. I feel as if I have come a very long way since taking on my first five precepts. Since I have no traditional sangha to guide and assist me in my practice, I feel that it is my duty to hold myself to a very high moral standard. 

When a student who is involved in  a more traditional, communal, study of the Dharma teachings decides to commit themselves to living a life based on the Buddha's teachings - by taking refuge in the three jewels (Buddha, Dharma, & Sangha) and taking on the first five precepts - there is often a small ceremony, similar to a baptism, where a new "Buddhist name" is given. 

I pondered over taking a name for a while, not wanting to take this commitment lightly. One I felt as if I was ready, the name came easily, but still, I reflected over it for a while.

I don’t see anything wrong with my solitary studies. In fact, I believe this solitude has played an instrumental part in my development of an unbiased practice, forcing me to truly question and test out the subjects of my studies, allowing me to draw my own conclusions about the teachings. 

Lessons and sanghas come in many shapes and forms. I have heard, in sermons, that the Buddha said something to the effect of "anything that leads to enlightenment, take it as my Dharma." I am paraphrasing, but the message was clear to me. 

There is another quote hat I hold near to my heart - “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” - Dalai Lama XIV. 

As I hike along through the mountains of my Dharma journey it is apparent that my path is not well traveled. As I push forward, cutting away at the overgrown weeds in my own mind, I have no fear. This is my road, but I am not entirely alone. 

Someone very close to me, who is definitely not a Buddhist, has actually been a huge help in pushing me to pursue “putting my Dharma where my mouth is” with constant reminders like, “Don’t talk about it - be about it.”

This person’s paradoxical tendencies are always intriguing to me. A unique personality, layered with innate Buddha like wisdom, but this vessel simultaneously houses a very non-Buddha like temperament. A living embodiment of Yin and Yang - he is my sangha, and my guru. 

With joy, I chuckle to myself.  "In such an unlikely place. . . My Temperamental Buddha.” 

Moments

Flashes of brilliant clarity moving in waves.
In realization I reach out with my mind, as if attempting to nail down these fleeting states of consciousness.

The fingers of my mind reaching,grasping, and the moment is gone. I barely miss, as the moment vanishes like a cloud of smoke. It is as if my effort is a strong wind, rapidly dispersing the vapor.

Sitting, mildly frustrated, searching for answers. Reflecting on the hours of study. Despite my efforts, I am unable to maintain the dagger like concentration that I can still remember from only a few weeks ago.

Moving in waves, flowing like the oceans washing over me, purifying, cleansing. Mind seeing clearly without eyes that deceive.

Moments, flashes of brilliant clarity, are still just moments subject to change.

Photo by David Rivera of Revolution Photos 

In the Moment

Staying in the moment. My mind is like a wild and unruly animal, bucking, twisting, and pulling at the reigns. Wandering between past and future, like a horse pulling first to the right, and then heading straight - only for a moment - before veering back off to the left. I steer my thoughts, struggling against the beast, begging it to bend to my will. 

I find myself to be counting each long, slow, breath, demanding my focus to shift to this present action, and forbidding everything but the most basic of thoughts from entering my mind. 

For a moment all is calm. My thoughts propel forward, like a laser beam, sharp, and focused. The animal is at rest. Profound clarity penetrates my being, vibrating, echoing, within me. I cling to this place, where there is only now. Dwelling in an existence that has no past, and cares not for the future.

I am driving, speeding, down the road, aware of each and every action. There, in the empty space, something resonates. There is nothing leading up to this moment, and there is nothing to follow. Only now. . . 

A delightful, new world. This is a place I could live, but I am unprepared, and ill equipped to stay. I make the most of my visit, enjoying the fresh view.

Hours pass. Eventually, I realize that I have returned. Yes,back in the world of past imprints and future concerns. The other place has, somehow, become a fond memory. Despite my efforts, I am unsure of the moment that my return actually occurred.

Here, again, is the beast. A kitten, curled up in the corner, wiser. Knowing of this place.  Tail twitching in all directions, but slowly, and with intention. Lying in wait and ready for the hidden passageways of the mind to once again open up.

The doorway. The Escape. 

Now

Now is is on my mind

Now is the place that I am exploring 

Now is this moment of clarity 

Now I am clinging to this state of present because

Now is where am trying to stay - steering my mind away from the future

The future that is elusive

The future that cannot be forecast 

The future that is constantly changing because of actions that we are carrying out now

The future is not where we are dwelling, and visiting it is a fantasy

The future is not relevant or certain  until now merges into it

Now is precious, each moment we have is a gift

Now is here - it is concrete, true

Now is clarity - directing the mind to stay in this place brings peace

Now is the only moment that is real, everything else is gone or an illusion

Now can have no effect on the past because the past is a place that cannot be touched

The past is gone forever - never to return

The past is a tool used for learning, viewed like a story in a movie

The past is not a place to dwell because it cannot be changed

The past, now gone, is no longer relevant to our current state

The past has passed, evolving into the now

Now is the only moment within our control - it is a time to act with mindfulness

Now is the home that we live in, the place we are meant to stay

Now is the only moment that is truly guaranteed - we cannot count on plans for tomorrow

Now the inspiration is flowing smoothly, clearly - serenity surrounds me and I am free

Now staying, holding onto the present

Ego Is a Child

I sit 

quietly listening 

Gazing out the window

The sound of my breath caresses 

Thoughts  rolling in like dark storm clouds

Contemplating harsh words, and insults - raindrops in my mind

A narrow mind carelessly propelling lightening bolts from unskilled lips

The ego is awake and is sulking in the corner, like a child, asking to be understood

Attempting to shake this illusion, I bid my mind to move in a new direction - scolding the child

I struggle to view myself through foreign eyes, seeking to understand my aggressor

Fingering through lessons in my mind like pages of an encyclopedia

Buddhist elders, words of wisdom, reminding me of unity

the child is gone, or perhaps she might only be hiding

regardless of her location, I feel an easement

Free in clear mind, there is no self

only for a fleeting moment

I am only now

the past

is

gone.

Journey Down The Eight-Fold Path

First of all, I want to make sure to emphasize that I have not been on this journey for an extremely long period of time. Also, it should be noted that putting the objects of my studies onto text in my own words is primarily a tool that I am using to enhance my own understanding of these teachings, but in sharing my journey through learning, it is my hope that I can be of some assistance to others who are seeking to find their way down the same path that I am currently traveling.

In my previous blog about the Four Noble Truths I briefly mentioned the path that will liberate us from suffering, the Eight Fold Path, and promised to go into this topic in greater detail at a later date. True to my word, here is my next educational entry titled "Journey Down the Eight-Fold Path."

The Path can be divided into three basic divisions. Wisdom, ethical conduct, & concentration. 

• Wisdom

• Right View - Other translations: Perfect/complete vision, right understanding
  

• Right Intention -  Other translations: right thought/attitude/resolve/conception, perfect emotion

• Ethical Conduct

• Right Speech - Other translations: Perfect/whole speech
• Right Action - Other translations: right conduct, integral action
• Right Livelihood -  Or proper livelihood (how you earn a living)

• Concentration

• Right Effort - Other translations: right endeavor/diligence, complete/full effort
• Right Mindfulness - Other translations: right awareness/attention, complete/thorough awareness
• Right Concentration - Other translations: mindfulness, absorption, concentration, meditation.

Lets start from the beginning with Right View. I personally prefer the term right understanding. At the beginning of the path it is necessary to establish an unclouded view of reality. Taking this to heart, I began to think deeply about the impermanence of all worldly things - people, belongings, jobs, relationships, life. I pondered over suffering, and have started to see suffering as something that "just is." The world is what we make it, and so are the situations we are in. Along with studying and incorporating right view into my life I also began to study Karma, which I will also go into at a later date. 

The second stop along The Path is Right Intention. This stop on the path, or step, involves being committed to the ethical improvements of the mind. In order to have the right intention one must act with good will - resisting feelings of aversion and anger, restrain oneself from the pulls of desire. Also it is necessary to abstain from acts that cause harm - cruel/violent/aggressive acts. In place of these feelings we are to develop compassion and love.  Personally, I felt like eating meat would be considered wrong intention, because we do not need to eat meat to survive, and eating meat causes unnecessary suffering and harm to animals. 

Right Speech, the first part of the Path dealing with ethical conduct, is the section that I personally have the hardest time with. I have always been a talker. I talk too much, have the tendency to come off rude, and am constantly "putting my foot in my mouth." Right Speech includes speaking only truth, and abstaining from negative speech about others. Also, when practicing right speech, one must use caution not to speak with harsh words that offend or hurt others, and (my weakness) abstaining from idle chatter. Idle chatter is referred to as meaningless conversation that has no reason or depth. For me, learning to talk only when necessary has been difficult, so I have been telling myself, "Shut up, listen more." Eventually I hope that these ways of speech become natural to me, but in the meantime I am always attempting to be mindful. 

Right Action is categorized as actions carried out by our physical bodies. If we carry out negative, or unwholesome, actions our minds cannot be pure, because our actions have the ability to taint our minds."Wrong Actions" would be killing, harming others - intentionally or unintentionally, stealing - taking what is not given, and sexual misconduct (rape, predatory sexual attitudes, & lust) keeping sexual relationships harmless to others. Right Action is also tied into the Precepts, which is another blog that I will owe in the future.

Having the Right Livelihood means earning your living in a righteous manor. There are four very specific activities that Shakyamuni Buddha mentioned that cause harm, and because of this should be avoided. Dealing with weapons, dealing living beings (slavery, prostitution, and raising animals for slaughter) and selling poisons and intoxicants (alcohol & drugs).

Right Effort, the first section of the path that falls into the category of Concentration, is often seen as a prerequisite for other areas of the path. If you are not willing to make an effort, than nothing else can be achieved. It is important to examine the reasons for your efforts, because misguided efforts are not Right Efforts. Right Effort has four main aspects. Effort to prevent the arising of anger, greed, and ignorance. Effort to rid negative qualities that already exist. The Effort to grow skillful and wholesome qualities such as loving kindness, wisdom, and generosity. Lastly the Effort to cultivate and strengthen the qualities mentioned above that have already arisen. 

Right Mindfulness comes from a the ability to see things as they really are. When one achieves Right Mindfulness one is able to observe our thoughts and control the way we interpret them, almost as if from an exterior point of view. Four foundations for mindfulness laid out by Buddha were: mindfulness of body, mindfulness of feelings/sensations (attractions, dislikes, or neutral), mindfulness of mind/mental processes (state of mind), and mindfulness of mental objects or qualities. 

The finally we come to Right Concentration. Concentration is defined, in this context, as one pointedness of mind. Single focus on wholesome thoughts and actions. In Buddhism, meditation is the vehicle for achieving this. 

Words Spilling onto Virtual Paper

Pretty words on paper. Ideas dancing and swirling in my mind like music. The melody working itself out on my keyboard, my fingers keeping time, clicking away each key stroke its own unique pitch.

Typing is like therapy. Watching the words appear on the page, one letter at a time, as if a magical force is transferring the ideas in my head onto the screen.

I can blog from almost anywhere, always free to plunge, deeply, into the seductions of the written word. 

The internet really is wondrous creation. It tempts and entices, providing endless possibilities for the acquisition of knowledge. With only a few swirls and clicks anyone can virtually navigate and address the globe. 

It becomes my my lover. It calls to me, offering endless knowledge. Page after page, vigorously searching, I become a seeker on an endless quest always craving more.

Free thinking

I have always been a learner and a thinker, searching for knowledge, spending countless hours of my childhood with my nose buried in an encyclopedia. 

"Little Me" - the young me, in my earliest years, just out of diapers - loved the word "why". I asked this question constantly, even when being told what to do by my mother and other adults.

This was not a term intended to imply disrespect, although it was often taken that way. I would have always been happy to comply with the requests of my elders, but it has never been in my nature to follow blindly. 

Although the desire to know the meaning behind actions caused me a great deal of trouble growing up, this inquisitive nature has served me well as an adult. 

I still prefer to make decisions and choices with as much information as possible, because even a very small piece of information can sometimes completely change the required that is required.

At my very heart, "Now Me" is not a great deal changed from who Little Me was. Yes, I have evolved and grown in many ways, but when you strip away the illusions that  modern American society provided as I grew up, I am still an eager mind seeking growth and knowledge.

Now Me is still asking Little Me's favorite question - "Why?"

Adopting a New Way of Life Through the Four Noble Truths

Traditional texts say that Siddhartha reached enlightenment in a mere six years at the age of thirty five. With the intent o freeing humanity from suffering, the Buddha or enlightened one, spent the rest of his life spreading the knowledge that he had gained.

The Buddha gave instructions in his teachings, often called the Middle Way or the Dhamma, for ending our worldly suffering. Two core teachings that were  given early in Buddhist history are the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path

Once I had made a conscious decision to incorporate Buddhist teachings in my day to day life - though I feel as if I would have been brought to this path some day no matter what - I started with these building blocks, these most basic teachings.

The Four Noble - Truths

1. The truth of suffering (dukkha)
2. The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya)
3. The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha)
4. The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga)

At a glance, this fist teaching can seem dark. "Suffering, suffering, and more suffering." I feel like there is a lot that the English language is not doing justice to in this very basic translation.

The First Truth - Suffering

Life has suffering. Every human being goes through suffering - Sickness, getting old, death, fear, frustration, sorrow, loneliness, and anger.  This cannot be argued.

The Second Truth- Cause of Suffering

Suffering is caused by things we can control - ego, expectations, cravings. If we can change the things that we want - desire - so that we no longer desire so much than we can escape the cause of suffering.

The Third Truth - End Of Suffering

Finally some good news. Are you ready for it? Suffering can be overcome and we all have the ability to reach true happiness. Give up useless cravings and live life one day at a time. Do not live in the past, or worry over a preconceived imaginary future.

The Fourth Truth - The Path

The Eightfold Path, which I mentioned earlier, is the path that has the ability to free us from suffering.

Please "stay tuned" for my next entry on the Eightfold Path.

Journey into Buddhism

Turning to Buddhism, for me, has been a very natural transition. As facts started to present themselves to me, through research and digging, I have begun to feel at home. The teachings correspond with beliefs that have been deep within me in my earliest stages of life.

Embarking down on this path has been  natural to me, as if I am called into it, or born into it. Finding my way home, and becoming aware of my true self. 

Studying the Buddha's teachings has lead me to truly examined myself, on a very deep personal level. In the cultivation of this knowledge I have proceeded in traveling down the path in the direction of an awakening.

This is not at all to say that I have been "fully awakened" but rather my eyes are in the process of being opened. Realizations have arisen in me, and I am aware that, that for along time, I was a in incomplete human being - shallow and distracted by illusions.

I never thought that I would ever become a "religious" person, even though I grew up attending regular church services. I was never able to think theistically. As a young person, I tried for years to get behind the all knowing, and punishing being that commanded obedience, for fear of the eternal  damnation that was reserved for the nonbelievers.

Even at a young age, I remember questioning the things that we were told in church, and feeling as if there was something wrong with me due to my inability to blindly follow what could not be proven to my young mind.
Eventually, in my teenage years, finding the act tiresome, I gave up the façade, much to my mothers dismay. My lack of religion and openness about the, unjustified, bitterness that I had for the Christian church put an immense strain on my relationship with my mother, who expected me to continue attending regular services.

I was stupid, and prideful. A teenage rebelling, but my dislike for church was not just something I used to irritate my mother. Deep down, everything about church made me uncomfortable.


Mind you that this is, in no way, a reflection of my current feelings about the church or Christianity. Through my own journey, into Buddhist teachings, I have learned a great respect, and even a fondness for true followers of Christ.

These teachings are still not for me, but they do not have to be. There are many paths to salvation, and I do not believe that any one path is better than any other. We are blessed with a planet filled with many cultures and religions, and each person's own religion is their own salvation.

Any religion that teaches the values of honesty, love, compassion, and  kindness is a benefit to the world and its people.The Dali Lama, when asked about his own religion, does not claim to be a Buddhist. Instead he has been quoted as saying, "my religion is kindness."

This journey is endless, as I am always growing, and learning. Following the path, picking up lessons, like stones, along the way.

Once filed with a deep darkness, and hatred, I am now transcending my old ways. That void - an enormous, dark, hole - is now gone, and I have filled it with the one and only thing that could ever be big enough to fill such a space - love.

Food Inc. Full Movie

Watch Food Inc online for free here.

AcroYoga Still Makes Me Smile

 

It is very important to take time out of our busy lives to do the things that make us smile... and AcroYoga still makes me smile. I need  to make more time to do this, because it brings me true joy.

 

 

 

 

 

Just for fun - my latest Acro video...unfortunately, I have not been practicing, so I am VERY shaky, but the scenery was perfect, and my old Acro partner, Tyrone Chuang, just happened to be present, so we went for it.

Change the World

I don't know if I can change the world, but I feel like if there is the possibility that something that I could do might make things just a tiny bit better for even ONE person its worth a try.

The internet is an AMAZING tool. With only a few keystrokes, you can reach the WORLD. This tool is a gift that is often misused because we fail to see and appreciate its full potential.

Twenty-six percent of consumers are digital omnivores (own a laptop, smartphone and  tablet).
 It is estimated that 80% of people have access to the internet either at work or at home, meaning that only 20% percent of the entire United States' population does not have regular internet access.  This is an AMAZING fact. We have been granted an amazing gift!

There are many different reasons that people may decide to log on.The internet can be used to increase productivity, cultivate knowledge, communicate, or it may be used for sheer entertainment.  

 I was fortunate enough to be exposed to computers from a young age.  My grandfather was an architect and, as far back as my memory reaches, my grandparents always had a computer in their home. I, fondly, remember the days of DOSS,and the emergence of the groundbreaking Windows OS.  
When I was younger my grandparents bought me lots of computer games, but all of the games, that I can remember, had educational value. I also remember spending hours upon hours "painting" in M.S. Paintbrush, and allowing my imagination to run wild.

Today, the video games that children play do not seem to have nearly as much educational value. I believe them be addicting, especially for young minds, and many experts agree that violent video games such as Halo and Grand Theft Auto carry the potential to adversely effect learning and behavior.

Only in my most recent adult years, am I truly beginning to understand the full potential of the internet, and more specifically social media.

It is estimated that more than half of the worlds population uses social media, and 1.11 billion people are currently signed up to use Facebook. Twitter currently has 554,750,000 users. As of January 2013, LinkedIn reached 200 million members, Pinterestis only 3 years old and already has 48.7 million users.

Imagine the reach one person could have if they utilize ALL of these, and other various FREE social networking giants.

What if ONE person was to REALLY uses all of these sites to deploy positive messages to the world?

How many people could that one person reach? What if everybody that that first person reached decided to reach out to their own networks, and the chain continued down the line, reaching more and more people?

I don't know if I can change the world, but if something I share can make ONE person's life just a LITTLE bit better, than all of my time and social media posts are more than worth it.


I have started an experiment - an event on Facebook. On it I have shared the one of the most AMAZING passages that I have EVER found on the internet. I am hoping that my "Facebook friends" will share it with their friends, and by the end of the year, I will be able to see how far this event has spread.

The event page is called "Be The Change We Wish To See In The World." 

I don't know how many people I will be able to reach with this event page. I may not reach many people, but ever single person counts and everybody I reach is equally important.

It takes lots of people to change the world... but LOTS of people ARE on the internet. Please share.

 

A Journey into Living Pure in a Toxic World

     We live in a toxic world. 

     The realization of this fact might be frightening to you, but it doesn't have to be. We can learn to live our lives free of contamination. We can make the choice not to allow poisonous substances into our bodies, and homes. We CAN protect ourselves and our families from toxins.

     There is a LOT of talk on the internet about organic foods, GMO's, and fluoridated water.  It’s very likely that you have heard of at least one, or not all of these issues, but unfortunately, food and items that we directly put into our bodies are not the only sources of contamination that we face these days.

     Say you already read labels on your food products, and you have taken the time to educate yourself about how misleading descriptions about product contents can be. You already know of the hidden dangers lurking inside boxes of highly processed foods, and that some food products contain chemicals that are known to cause cancer and other diseases.

     How is this happening? Why are these companies allowed to create dangerous food products? These days everybody is on the lookout for the best bargain. Companies make money off of selling massive quantities of cheap foods that is low in nutrition and quality. We are stuck in a cycle of quantity over quality.

      I often hear the excuse, "organic food is too expensive." Sure you might pay a little more per pound for organic food than conventional food, but it’s time we change the way we value our food. As I stroll down the aisles of my local grocery store I do not price my food pound for pound, I price my food based on nutritional content.

     In America, we pride ourselves on being full, but nutrition is often an afterthought. When you buy organic foods, you get more nutrition, and are avoiding a multitude health risks. Eating healthy may seem more expensive, but in the long run an organic diet, free from toxins and filled with lots of nutrient rich organic fruits and veggies, can prevent a slew of diseases.

     A heart attack can easily cost $30,000 - $450,000 for a single procedure. The average cost of a 30 day cancer prescription drug treatment is close to $2,000, but newer cancer drugs can squeeze $10,000 a month from your pocket. For a patient without insurance, diabetes can cost close to $1,000 a month. The worst part is that these health problems are food related, and avoidable.

     By simply eating an organic, mostly plant based, diet all of the health risks above can be avoided. When you eat organic foods you are not getting pesticides, GMO's, antibiotics, rBST hormones, or artificial sweeteners, and you are dodging a HUGE bullet - the direct assault of chemicals on your body from the inside out.

     If you are planning on making just one change this year, I beg you to go organic - eat organic foods. Going organic has made a tremendous difference in my life, my energy level, and my general health.

     If you are already eating organic foods, then consider looking into the chemicals in your cosmetics, hair care products, body soaps, and household cleaners. Since these items are part of unregulated industries, and are not intended for human consumption, these chemicals are very often dangerous.

     We apply chemicals such as phthalates, parabens, and sulfates to our bodies on a daily basis. These poisons easily soak into our skin and begin pumping though our bodies. We eat food off of counter tops that have been wiped down with chemicals known to cause damage to our kidneys.

     Most dish soaps are made with petroleum based ingredients. Just one bottle of dish detergent can contain a list of cancer inducing agents that are left behind and then transferred onto our food.

     If we find a bad smell in a room, rather than opening a window, we fill the air in our homes with formaldehyde – a well-known carcinogen, found in most air fresheners.

     There are many all natural and organic cosmetics, soaps, and hair care products available on the internet and in retail stores. You can even find online tutorials with detailed instructions on how to affordable make your own products.

    There is no reason for us to waste our hard earned dollars buying toxic chemicals to "disinfect" our homes when a quick online search can reveal a long list of safe and affordable alternatives.

    As our world becomes more and more aware of these problems the number of safe natural products continues to rise. I really love the natural cleaning products that I can easily acquire from my local grocery store. Brands like Mrs. Meyers and Seventh Generation are becoming widely available.

    It has been my personal experience that natural cleaning solutions tend to clean even better than their cheaper, dangerous, counterparts. It makes me wonder how we were tricked into buying low quality, hazardous products, in the first place.

     I have made the switch, and I am never looking back. The choice wasn't that hard for me to make… Stay healthy, or live sick?